MARCH 4TH

I know it isnt February but 3 days late I reached my goal weight for February. Have had one glass of wine this month and really enjoyed it but didnt want to go back for more. Will get a really nice bottle of red to celebrate Robs birthday but that will be it for the weekend.

THE END

Alcohol Free February has come to an end and while I havent lost the weight I wanted to I have learned a lot about myself. I realise I am the sort of person who cant have a glass of wine or a piece of chocolate I have to finish the whole thing. I slipped up a couple of times but got myself back on track the next day. Part of the problem was that Rob and I have the same addiction and if we were both feeling down it was hard for one of us to encourage the other to stay on track. I know now that I can deal with most of lifes knocks without the booze and have to have more backbone to deal with other harder knocks. Do I regret doing this? No, in fact I am glad I did. Will I drink again? Yes, but only on special occasions or socially with friends but not as an everyday habit which it had become. When I do have a drink I will go and buy a good wine and savour it and not buy cheap plonk and drink it like cooldrink.

WEEKEND

This weekend was not difficult at all. Didnt think of wine at all on Saturday and reached the time to go to work still ok. Then the wheels fell off (wish they had). Reversing up the drive to go to work I suddenly heard a cat shout and saw Lizzie and Chelsey hairing off into the distance. Chelsey returned but I had to leave Rob looking for Liz while I went to work. Luckily she came back within a few minutes looking none the worse for wear. Didnt feel myself knock her so it must have been a glancing blow. BUT our nerves were shot so between us we had a bottle of wine. Feel pretty ropey this morning and deeply regret this slip up. Back on track from today.

DAY 17

Yesterday was a tough one. I heard that a young person I know and am quite fond of is in hospital on a respirator as she tried to commit suicide on Valentines Day. I knew she had been having a hard time recently but I thought she had turned the corner but I suppose being on you own on a special day can be hard when your self esteem is so low. Normally I would have tried to make sense of it all inside a glass of wine but had coke with a dash of lemon juice and although the sadness is still there I dont feel ill on top of it.

WEEKEND IN CLANWILLIAM

Before we went away I had a horrible feeling that being in a different location might knock my reslove. Well I'm thrilled to say it didnt. Visited Ken and Annette on the way up and Ken commented that my complexion was less ruddy. That came as a surprise cos while I could see in Robs face signs of drinking I couldnt see it in my own. I must say that gave me a boost to keep going. When we arrived it was over 40 degrees and an ice cold beer would have been nice!! I think I missed my wine most in advance so to speak, let me explain. Whenever I visited my mum I found I 'needed' wine to get over the visit so on the journey in to town to see her I was already thinking that I wouldnt be able to have wine when I got home but when I got home I had fruit juice with soda water and I was quite happy and didnt miss the wine at all. It was very hot so I drank gallons of water BUT I also ate ice-cream so not looking forward to the scale tomorrow. On a really positive note my finger nails are growing and appear to be stronger.

DAY 8

Whoo hoo got up early to weigh myself and test my blood sugar. Have lost 1.2kg and my blood sugar has dropped by .6 units. Now I really am motivated to keep going. Of course Rob lost more weight and his blood sugar dropped more than mine but I must just keep focused on myself. I probably wont blog as often this week as I am not missing the wine as much. Hopefully wont start drinking again once February is over maybe just a glass of bubbly on special occasions but not as a daily happening. Next week I willl watch what I eat more than I have this last week but I think it is better to make smaller goals and achieve them than aim too high and end up disappointed with myself. By next summer I want to have lost about 25kg and be able to get into clothes I like rather than what I can buy to fit!

DAY 6

With Neil's sympathy marathon and Warrens inspiring words from Invictus this was the easiest day. Have been taking Rescue Remedy for the last two or three days to help with the feelings of anxiousness and sleeplessness. Feeling really positive right now.